| Im back |
[8.20.06 - 7.16am] |
In senshi-con.
Believe it.
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[7.31.06 - 12.59am] |
I dont know why im just really agitated right now.
It seems like me, the guy I am, the person who i've been all my life, is crap. Since HS most of my friends have gone and moved on, and the ones I have now, a majority of them dont really talk to me or call me anymore. Not that I was a very phone typeish person when I was in HS but it just makes me feel lonly that no one seems to care whats going on with me. Sure when something major happens (like my grandfather dieing) happens then they are all "Woa im so sorry that happend" out of nowhere kind of like "uh...okay so who are you again?".
Im not saying this to everyone. I'll admit that their are a few friends that actually care enough about me to call me up at random times and ask me how im doing. I guess thats what im getting at. No one seems to give a damn how im doing DAY BY DAY. Sure im not expecting to be called every hour being asked "anything new?" but it WOULD be nice to have people call me from time to time asking me how im doing. Im really just tired of being the one who calls asking how the person is doing, HOPEING they will ask the same in return. Sure I could just "not call" but then again I dont want that person to think I dont like them anymore or what ever, or to forget about me.
I guess what im getting at...is im tired of being the guy who was just "that guy" in peoples memories. I want to actually stand out to people, you know, be some one that people think of ocasionaly, or actually want to call me and say "Hey Gary/Oreo/Fluffy/etc, Im just calling to say whats up? hows things? Anything new?". I guess thats why im so emo some times, because no one cares enough to call me.
You see me at work or what ever and you'll see the mr. sunshine and rainbows guy that will try to help you with what ever and also try to make you laugh. But while im being that guy, I get treated by sh!t by customers and even some people I knew from HS. Hell, just last night one of my teachers from HS walked in to my dept, waved and kept going. He didnt even stop to say "Hey gary, how you doing?". I mean what do I have to do to be IMPORTANT to some one? If I got in a car accident people would notice in care, if I was shot people would care, but If I just had a run of the mills bad day at work, or what ever id get "uh huh, that sucks". What? that sucks? K thx for caring.
Again this isnt about everyone, and maybe im just upset because of how people talk to me some times I dont know but either way its what I feel and its going in this damn blog.
And you know...I just realized that no one even reads this. I should probably just delete the damn thing.
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[7.16.06 - 9.03pm] |
I'll miss you too, my easy bake oven.
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| Death of a Grandfather... |
[7.5.06 - 8.55am] |
Jay Cowdery Sr., 78
Anchorage resident Jay Lee Cowdery Sr., 78, died June 29, 2006, at Providence Alaska Medical Center.
Visitation will be from 5 to 7:30 p.m. Wednesday at Kehl's Forest Lawn Chapel. A graveside service will be at 11 a.m. Thursday at Anchorage Memorial Park Cemetery. Rob Hough will officiate. A gathering of family and friends will be afterward.
Mr. Cowdery was born July 21, 1927, in Bates County, Mo., to George and Opal Cowdery. After serving in the Army and Merchant Marine, he met and married Ellen Dean Sweeden in California, where they began their family.
Mr. Cowdery prided himself in having his own milk delivery route for California Knutson Dairy and was the first to pasteurize milk for Alaska Dairy, his family said.
His family came to Anchorage in the 1950s and started Cowdery Excavating after the 1964 earthquake. Mr. Cowdery was instrumental in the pioneering of early excavation techniques in Alaska. In 1968, he started a business, Hoe Unlimited. He put in water and sewer for the University Center, Anchorage Neighborhood Health Center and many other projects. He later retired from Kenai Supply, where he had implemented its water works department.
Mr. Cowdery was a member of the Anchorage Contractors Association. As a member of the Jaycees, he helped establish and build the Anchorage Convention & Visitors Bureau. He was a member of Loyal Order of Moose Lodge 1534 and Pioneers of Alaska.
Mr. Cowdery enjoyed bowling and was a member of the Anchorage Bowling Association. He had many close friends in the associations that he was active in.
Mr. Cowdery also enjoyed fishing on the Kenai River with his wife and family. Eagle Rock was his favorite fishing hole. His pride and joy was his African grey parrot, "Cleo," who called him "papa."
He is survived by his daughter and son-in-law, Cheryl and Edgar Curtis; sons, Mike Cowdery and Sam Cowdery; brother, Sen. John Cowdery; nine grandchildren; eight great-grandchildren; and several nieces and nephews.
He was preceded in death by his wife of 45 years, Ellen Dean Cowdery; sons, David Myers and Gary Cowdery; and brothers, George Cowdery and Carroll Cowdery.
Arrangements were by Kehl's Forest Lawn Mortuary & Crematory.
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Thats my grandfathers obituary in the newspaper. Makes me sad just reading it. I was a little disapointed that my name wasnt included (I fall under the nine grandchildren) but they were short on space I suppose. Havent slept much since he died, and my week is busy.
*sigh*
Damn life.
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| My Grandfather passed away today... |
[6.29.06 - 8.48am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sad |
] |
Hey friends...
You may wonder why im writing this, and I have no real reason other then to just so I can let go.
My grandfather, Jay L Cowdery Sr. passed away this morning at 4:20am. I was told by my father a few minutes after reciving the call and we drove to the hospital. I havent been able to see my grandfather in awhile because of work, but seeing him lieing in the hospital bed...he didnt even look like himself. He was thin and frail, and...well, I went numb. The shock of his death didnt hit me till right then, not in the drive to the hospital or when I was told. I just, my whole body went numb. I banged my leg onsomething and almost fell but I didnt even feel it. Its like one of those experiances where your their but you dont feel like your in your body.
My mom came over to my and hugged me and she cried, but I couldnt. My eyes teared up, and the inside of my body felt horrible but I couldnt cry. That is, until she told me what he said before he died.
"Gary, grandpa wanted me to tell you that he is very proud of the young man you've become, and that he loves you". Sorry if im not making much sense, im crying as I write this, but...when I was told that I excused myself and left the room, went to a vacent corner in the hall and cried. I just...cried. Everything hurt, it hurt to breath, it hurt to move, it hurt to even cry, but thats all I was able to do. I punched the wall a few times and the nurse came out and saw me crying and huged me. It was so horrible I've never cried like that in my entire life, and thinking about it know makes me cry. I just, I miss him somuch. He was the biggest part of my life besides my own parents. We did everything together and now he's gone. I dont know how well im going to be able to cope with it. I took the day off from work and all i've done is look at old pictures and cry. I feel like such a baby but I just cant help it.
Anyways...i dontknow why i posted this. Im not looking for sympathy or anything...maybe I am, I dont know Ijust feel like sh!t right now.
-Gary
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[6.5.06 - 6.00am] |
So...its like 6 in the morning...I look outside and its a weird color of like, light but dark at the same time...
I havent been up this early in the morning (actually getting sleep and waking up i mean) since like...2 years. Wow...
Im going back to bed, screw this morning stuff, i think im comming down with something >>
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| Difference between Like & Love |
[5.26.06 - 5.09pm] |
Found this on a friends myspace, figured it post it here since i havent in a while.
Difference between
"somebody you Love"
& "somebody you Like":
1 - In front of the person you love, your heart
beats
faster, But in front of the person you like, you get
happy.
2 - in front of the person you love, winter seems
like
spring. But in front of the person you like, winter
is
just beautiful winter.
3 - If you look into the eyes of the one you love,
you
blush. But if you look into the eyes of the one you
like, you smile.
4 - In front of the person you love, you can't say
everything on your mind. But in front of the person
you like, you can.
5 - In front of the person you love, you tend to get
shy. But in front of the person you like, you can
show
your own self.
6 - You can't look straight into the eyes of the one
you love. But you can always smile into the eyes of
the one you like.
7 - When the one you love is crying, you cry with
them. But when the one you like is crying, you end
up
comforting.
8 - The feeling of love starts from the eye But the
feeling of like starts from the ear. So if you stop
liking a person you used to like, all you need
to do is cover your ears. But if you try to close
your
eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in
your heart forever...
-----------
Other then that, not much. Been sick like hell latly, exhaustion and what not. Also been pretty bored not having much to do. Wish things were a bit better but cant have everything. Got work at 7 tonight till 12 *sigh*. I hate freddies but i need it so i can help out my folks with bills n shit. =\
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[5.4.06 - 12.49am] |
So...
I've taken 3 finals so far. Passed my Pysch class with a C, aced my Econ final, and zoomed through my comp final.
Lets see what else I have in store :)
Oh yeah. Also re-did my AMV. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btavdW-eOHs Go check it out. Some people told me it wasnt really a tribute so I changed it to make it into one :)
Late.
Btw, if your reading this...the hell are bishi-bubbles? :P *hugs the dork anyways*
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| Nothing goes right. |
[4.24.06 - 6.21pm] |
Nothing seems to be going right for me the past couple of days. My mom was in a car accident, a close friend of mine died (who shouldnt have died), and now i may fail one of my college courses.
The last is my fault I know, but I didnt need to find that out now, not with all this other crap going on.
*sigh* Why does everything seem to hate me :(
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| *R.I.P* Tamie Krischuk, June 26, 1986 - April 16, 2006. ~We miss you Tamie~ |
[4.23.06 - 7.33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
Tamie Krischuk, 19
Tamie Ann Marie Krischuk, 19, died of a brain aneurism April 16, 2006, at St. Alphonsus Medical Center in Boise, Idaho. Her family was with her.
A celebration of life will be at 3 p.m. Saturday at First Congregational Church, 2610 E. Northern Lights Blvd. The Rev. Mark Long will officiate. Flowers are welcome.
A lifelong Alaska resident, Tamie was born June 26, 1986, at Humana Hospital to Diane and Bruce Krischuk. She was a 2005 East Anchorage High School honor graduate. She was completing her freshman year at Boise State University, and her dream was to become an elementary teacher.
Her family wrote: "Tamie lived by the motto, 'You only live once, so live each day to the fullest because you never know what tomorrow will bring.' Always happy, she touched many lives with her contagious smile. Tamie enjoyed traveling, taking pictures, dancing, ice skating, writing poetry, working with arts and crafts, and spending time with family and friends. A wonderful friend to many people, she will be greatly missed."
---------------
May you watch over us from heaven Tamie. We love you, and will miss you greatly.
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| Shit |
[4.21.06 - 11.22am] |
Sorry, but this wont be a long entry. My mom got in a car accident and i have to go to the hospital. To tonacey: Im real sorry, and your probably not going to talk to me, I understand, but i cant really think right now. Im worried about my mother. I'll update when i get back.
im just...scared right now.
**UPDATE**
Okay, My mom is alright. I thought she had a broken arm but I guess its just really banged up. She might have gotten whiplash, the doctor isnt sure. If so then fuck. But...yeah, I cant beleive all that happend yesterday. I thought I was going to arrive at the hospital to find my mother dead :(.
Anyways, Im going to sleep, dont want to think about this shit right now.
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| Happy Easter! |
[4.16.06 - 1.26pm] |
Happy easter everyone! Hope yours is better then mine! Im a little sick and I got work in 3 hours ^^. Anyways love you all very much <3. Keep safe and all. Later!
~Gary
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| *peaceful sigh* |
[4.5.06 - 11.55pm] |
I love this song, and I know of some one who will appreciate it as much as I do... *please click link* http://youtube.com/watch?v=9JDTAqsMNEM
And to the person im refering to, im sorry if i cant say everything right, I just dont know how.
~Gary
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| well |
[4.5.06 - 11.38am] |
Well, i was going to post a more serious update today about what i learned in pysch class, but I lost the motivation because of DDR so...
For those about to play some DDR, i freakin salute you! (playing on light, no beginner for meh!)
btw.
<3 miss you.
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| meh |
[4.1.06 - 2.28am] |
Pay attention to the last part >_>
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| *yawn* |
[3.30.06 - 11.38pm] |
So its..11:40, kind of bored. Just got back from My buddys house. Played DDR on the pad for the first time. Zomg it was hard, but fun. Did most of the songs on light...cept the fast ones..yeah its a damn workout.
Anyways..nothing new really. Like i said, im bored, got a new cell phone..*stupid cars* and, im probably quitting fred meyers within a few weeks. I just cant take it anymore. I dont like their policys, I dont like the way they treat their employes, and i dont like the way customers treat us either.
*Yawn* Welp, looks like im going to go play more SC3. I think im going to buy DDR+Pad tomorrow..
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[3.25.06 - 10.00pm] |
I gots a new cell :D
That and Im happy for no reason ^_^
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| *sigh* |
[3.21.06 - 4.18am] |
So the con is over, the party is over, a friend is leaving for a while, and im stuck at home working. *grumble*. Nothing really exciting planned for my Spring break. I guess i'll just work and hang out with some friends.
As far as other things are concerned, im fine. Some things have happend in the past few days that have literally had my head spinning, but everything should be fine.
Um..well, guess i should get to bed. I have work soon =\
god im gonna miss her..
~Gary
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